Annihilation

I have learnt forgiving people. People that hurt you beyond repair. People whom you had called you your own. I have always made good everything. As if nothing had happened. As if nothing existed beyond my goodness. Because without forgiving I will get so angry that I could almost destroy anything that comes on my way.
There can be minds so soft that could be hurt by the smallest of things. I wonder why these minds exist if there's no one to understand them until that softness is gone and is replaced by a hard shell. Still the mind makes the same mistake every time of letting "own people" touch its softer core. Gets hurt, hardens by another layer. Layer by layer hardens until all that is left is hardened ash. Ash so black it it could digest every thing from planets to solar systems, mightier than the black hole...

Boondon kay moti

There have been these unconventional bollywood romantic numbers that I would always fall for. The latest one is " Boondon kay moti" from Wake up Sid. I would list the rest of them them in a minute but before that I need to release  the ecstasy that comes to me everytime I listen to the line " Yun..ki tai kar na payun main, Dil ki baat main hawaake zariya pohuchayun re, Ya khud hawa pe chadh k ayun re..." from this song. The video shows the beautiful Mumbai  rains wherein Ranbir and Kankona cherish both the raindrops and their love. I can't say it feels exactly the same when you realize the other person "loves" you too but I would like to believe it does so.

Like a year or two back its was Ash and her sisters in white, dancing in the rain in some hilltop in Himachal (yes in  the title track of Taal). I had seen it many times before but it was only in the warm April afternoon of 2011 sitting in a darkened room, staring at the video with days to go for my part 3 finals that something dawned upon me about the movie. There was something about matching the rhythm of your souls. What a beautiful way to look at togetherness. With both the protagonists in Taal being graduates in music, the matching of vibes goes perhaps maybe on in another dimension.  In that song " Taal se taal milaa" Ash is searching for someone with whom she'll feel like one, when the rhythms will be perfectly synchronised and life will seem like a beautiful music thereon.

 Then there is "Bin tere kya hai jeena" from Woh Lamhe. How the patient Ahuja takes care of and tends a schizophrenic Kangna like a parent showcases love in another different dimension. This is also very close to the heart because I have two very close people in my life who kinda resemble Ahuja and Kangana in this movie.
There's "Tumse hi" from JWB, not as soul-stirring but stirring all the same. Background- rains again. Shahid feels Kareena to be there with him always ,guiding him. Love is inspiration here. It is a motivation in the true sense of the word.

This list could go on and on. But this discussion won't be complete without " Der lagi lekin' from ZNMD. No  rains here. But equally soul-stirring as the others mentioned above. This song comes at a time in the movie when two of the protagonists realize the true meaning of their existence, find their way in life. Put special emphasis on '' Ab maine yeh jaana hai, khushi hai kya, gham kya....Dono hi do pal ki hai rutein na yeh thehre na rookein..Zindagi do rangon se bane..ab roothein ab mane..yehi to hai yehi to hai yahaan". Sometime back I was lost and I would listen to this number and would not exactly find a way but atleast start searching for it with the confidence that I WILL find it.. the way. Such is the power of this song.
There's 'Sawali si raat ho" from Barfi that could make you sit for hours in the dark and listen to it. Love without words..isn't that like magic. Since communication forms such an important part of loving someone, if you can express everything without words then it must be an other-worldly experience where silence reigns supreme and emotions are exchanged through eyes.
Bollywood is a part of who I am. I remember when I was eight and I had 2-3 diaries full of lyrics of Bollywood songs. I didn't understand all of the lyrics but had them by heart anyway. Our group of 4 girls would compete amongst ourselves on who could memorise the maximum amount of lyrics from the latest B'wood songs. This craziness reached its peak with Kaho na Pyaar Hai. The song "Kyun Chalti hai Pawan" had grabbed my attention the most those days. It was Hritik's bespectacled-car-driving-in-New-Zealand look and the beautiful lines that would play in the background. I would listen to it day in and out in a sony tape-recorder( now obsolete) and spend all my pocket money buying stickers of HR and stick them on the back pages ( egotist me, I would never buy posters and stick them on the walls of my room - I wouldn't like to show the world that i had fallen hard for this guy) of my Diary.

Shit, i have strayed away from what I had started with. I was just celebrating this song from WUS. Yes, right now and for the next few days this is the song that will guide my life and thoughts. I think I have fallen for Ranbir( I know he looks very childish in this video). Even though, I won't like to admit it.

P.S. 1) A friend of mine said I kind of resembled Konkona in this song. I don't think I do. After all, being an independent young woman is harder in Delhi than in Mumbai, I believe.
2) I could have changed the name of the post, now that I have strayed far away from what I had intended to convey, but I won't.
3) Bollywood style romance happens. If you've watched and followed Bollywood all your life and still not have any of it in your real life, not even in your head with someone whom you love, its not sad. Its just that I am over-imaginative.
4) Forgive me my taking the actors' name and not the protagonists in the movies that i have described. I realize now how real I think these characters to be.
5) I think this post seems creepy after all the previous ones that I have written. But I had to pay my own little tribute to Bollywood some day or the other.