Tuesday 14 August 2012

Just my terrace.

Its one at night. The night security guard whistles away breaking the silence and making me aware of how late it is. I have been wanting to go to sleep for an hour now. Not that i am sleepy. A strange joy has gripped me. I know i should be worried after the kind of  mini-shock today, but i have this light sensation. I don't know what it is...maybe its the entire night ambience on my terrace. The best thing about my house is my terrace. Two months back while house-hunting i had fallen in love with it, shifted within 6 days. Its not exactly luxurious but it suits me alright.  It was very rough then though. This pretty piece required a lot of hard work from my part, arguments with a lot of people including the landlord. I think I had to make more than 6-7 trips to all sorts of shops and markets and toil for about a month before this thing was just as i wanted it to be.
There is something about owning a place of your own. At the end of the day, you look back at your baby with pride. Life has been good that way. I mean till a few months back, for the entire 22 years of my life i have been asked to live in places that people had chosen for me. I mean ya after the choice was made my extra opinion was asked like to make it an icing on the cake, but that's about it.
Coming back to my lovely terrace. After a tiring day at the Eco School, as i sit with a mug of tea( yes i'm not a coffee person) in the twilight and look into the depths of the horizon or just the the numerous activities going on in the neighbourhood, all my exhaustion is washed away. I sit down sometimes with a book or two or the newspaper. I sit there until its dark. Make a few long distance phone calls with some latest or old Bollywood numbers(playing on my phone) in between the call gaps and come back inside by 8 ready to go through the next reading or solve the next pair of dynamic equations. I do come out at times and do a jig or two ( if the day had been real good) celebrating my terrace and the sudden answer that my mind churns out to the question  which been bugging me since some class in the day. Its dark. So nobody watches me dance. Or so i hope...
Then after cooking dinner, n having it, cleaning everything up, i again find another excuse to go out to this amazing terrace of mine. That happens while brushing my teeth. And it goes on for 15 mins. Recently dad had come and we chatted every evening( of his stay) about everything. And we told each other at the end of every discussion how beautiful my terrace was.
A friend of mine had come to Delhi to appear for some entrance n i had invited her to my place(it was just 2 weeks into my shifting, you so can imagine the mess everything was in but all that made it all the more fun) and we stayed awake all night discussing life ..where else,on my terrace! i mean a 10 min chat had got stretched so LOONG..such is my terrace.
Let me give you an idea of what all you are likely to see from my terrace. You can see tall trees both planted on the lane and from the parks nearby, beautiful happening balconies (so if ur own life is dull, just go out and you'll watch punjabi moms with children of all ages, an old man fidgeting with his old radio, a boy parking his bike while his dad drives in with the weeks grocery, children playing, vendors moving in and out and what not), cars ( well they are a watch too) of all brands and sub-brands and ofcourse the stars above when you lie down at night. But this doesn't describe it all. There is something about the place. Some POSITIVE vibe as my designer friend who had once visited had said. Maybe it is the source of my happiness that inspired this lazy being enough to blog about it.
Now that i write it down, i am gripped with this sudden urge to go out again. The night air is beautiful and seductive.... And, oops i just remembered i haven't brushed yet. So all the more reason! :)






Friday 10 August 2012

For a moment's affair


I cherished it each time our eyes met. My dark brown vs your black. I was much your junior. 

You would come to call me whenever your department needed me. The lounge wouldn't have been the same without your magical presence. I would go on and on talking and you would look at me with a certain indifference or 'non-indifference' I couldn't quite gauge. As if you were deep in thought. I wasn't sure if that was liking from your side or plain curiosity. I enjoyed the atttention nevertheless. After all you were handsome and one of the few young bankers there.

  But just like every other flow, i know it is not here to stay. 

 So the moments that our eyes meet next, I am going to cherish.

you called me?

Yours and Mine


Sickness.
It always makes me remind of you
My fever?
Its yours.

Impertinence.
It will always make you remind of me
Your vanity?
Its mine.

Brilliance.
It always makes me remind of you
My enthusiam?
Its yours.

Indifference.
It will always make you remind of me
Your shame?
Its mine.

I work, I am common as is the majority


Okay, so i'm powerless, i'm common
I wake up every morning
And read the newspaper.

I read about all the powerful people
I read about all the rich people
All that they do
Or plan to do
For me, for us.

I also read they've done
What they shouldn't have
They've twisted things their way
They've made a pact of their own.

A cycle that none of them plan to break.
They've taken our money
And used as their own
They've taken our trust
And pulverized it.

I read all this
The betrayal
The depth
The manipulation
I remain unfazed.

I take my usual bus
I go to work.
I work,oh yes, I work.

One power group goes out,
Another sets in,
The group that wins the war
Of money and power.
I work.

For i'm the majority.
For i have the responsibility
Of the next day.
That whatever happens,
Life should not stop.

I work
For no matter what they say or do,
The next day would come
And bring with it
Its commonality
For the commons to carry forward.

Again, the first time


I stood there again
Licking my wounds
(liking my wounds ?)

I dont learn the next time
Because there's no next time for me
Its always the first time
I dont want to be experienced
(i dont want to be old?)

You were there then
You weren't there
I believed you weren't there
(but you were there?)

I recognised it
The moment i impressed you
( i challenged you?)

It was good
You and me
Something that never could have lasted
( i felt secure?)

I told you a lot of times
You told me a lot of times
That we were soulmates.
( we were classmates?)

The usual waves crashed
Anger and avoidance
You left, I too got up
Time to move on
( i always knew?)

So there i stood again
On that same road,
Licking my wounds the third time.
( waiting for another first?)